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Monday, October 10, 2011

Putting the troubled past to rest

    True lies Creative Riters Corner # 51

    Taking a deep breath, I push open the glass door of the place where I once used to live and stepped outside onto the wide ledge. No one lives here now as I had moved out after my husband died. It’s a dark night, yet the city is dressed up like a newlywed bride. The bright lights sparkle bright and seem to mesmerize. Looking in the distance, I see the giant steel structure which takes me back to a time long forgotten yet the memories still as fresh a new coat of paint. Lighting my cigarette, I start to wander into the past that I once wanted to forget.

    “Mark, today is our anniversary and I have booked tickets to a special place. I want to make it memorable. Get up or shall I drag you out of bed and into the shower.” I whispered ever so softly in the ear of the figure that lay next to me.

    “Leave me alone girl. Last night was a rough one, my muscles ache and all the energy gone. You were a handful and still ready to go? Head on down. I’ll be there soon you hear”

    Getting out off the bed, I tied my hair into a pony tail, looked back at the figure on the bed and walked out of the room. Something amiss yet I just could not place my finger on it. Turning on the faucet, I picked up the strainer and started to rinse the fruits almost automatically. Mark loved a glass of fruit juice in the mornings and nothing else. Peeling the carrots one by one, I dropped them in the juicer till it was full. The juicers sound rose to a feverish pitch as I pressed the button. Waiting for it to turn into juice, I looked out the window. I turned my head as the screen door opened and Mark stepped out just in his shorts to get the morning papers. A car pulled up to the curb, the tinted windows opened just a bit, an animated conversation and it drove off. I saw Mark walking back, deep in thought and he became startled when he saw me giving him an inquiring look.

    “It was no one. Just someone asking directions and was lost. Just asking around.” Stammered Mike

    “Did I ask you anything or is there something more than meets the eye?” I mumbled as the past memories scribbled notes found in the dust bin floated in my mind.

    A piece of paper slipped out from inside of the newspaper and finally came to rest near my feet. Bending down to pick it up, I wondered whom it was from as I did not recognize the writing. Before any sense could be made, it was snatched from my hand and a glaring face which had turned beet red yelled back at me “How dare you touch my stuff” before walking back upstairs leaving the glass of juice untouched.

    Sliding down into the corner, I started to get wet eyed. The tears welled up and the floodgates opened which threatened to soak my shirt. Sobs racked my body and I seemed lost in the river called time. The tap soon ran dry and the last drops fell and I looked up red eyed at the house. An old wedding picture of us hung on the far wall and with the passage of time my life spiraled out of control.

    Regaining composer, I rose off the floor and dusted myself off. Grabbing both the tickets, I grabbed the skillet, walked up to the window where Mike was reading the morning paper and swung it hard to hear a dull sound as it connected with his head.

    “Answer me honestly when I ask you something. Mouth lies to me and you’re going get a whooping which you will remember for the rest of your life you hear?” Was all I yelled as I started to drag Mike to his car. Opening the rear door, I strained to put Mike in an upright position. Giving up, I put him on his back and covered him with a bed sheet. Going back inside, I packed my bags, made myself something to eat, took a long bath to calm my nerves as I thought out my next move. Getting out of the tub, I passed the mirror and the image made me pause. I stared at my reflection as the tug of war between despair and relief happened in me. Taking a deep breath, I got dressed and looked out the window and realized that it was getting dark.

    Shutting the front door, I walk down the gravel path. The yellow grass broken by clumps of wild grass, neglected hedges showed that time had taken its toll. Looking around, I see broken, barren lands as the winds whip up blistering hot sands. Floodgates seem to open and the mirror like sands reflect the imperfect past as is sink into the drivers seat groaning as the deluge constricts my sanity throwing me into the raging river called time.

    Gripping my head tight, I let out a loud groan. The sands reflect the fading light and fear grips me as the shadows start to lengthen. Faceless shadows start to whisper dark things in the already troubled mind. The lonesome howl of a wolf wakes me up from the deep paralysis whose tentacles refused to let go. I start to perspire and the sweat starts to roll down my neck and back sticking my shirt to the skin, I wonder if I should ever have done this or is it the only way to vanquish my demons?

    Sitting in the car, I stared out the windshield, took a deep breath and backed out of the driveway and into the city. The Eifel tower loomed ahead. I always went there with Mike yet never went at night time. It looked so beautiful, the wind seemed to whip the hair just right and the scent of autumn was in the hair. Handing my tickets over to one of the attendants, I asked for a wheelchair. “Is he ok?” The man asked. “Just asleep. He just took his medication.” I replied.

    As the elevator door opened, glazed eyed tourists disembarked chatting away in foreign tongues. Pushing through the crowd, I reached the empty elevator, hit the top most button and closed it before anyone else enters. It was almost midnight, I could see someone in the distance checking if the floor was clear and lights were being shut off section by section. I realized I did not have much time and I wheeled the chair to the edge. The guard rail was high as I climbed a few rungs up and grabbed Mikes arms until his body rested on the top most rung. Grabbing his left leg, I whispered “Mike, I always loved you yet you took it for granted. Maybe you never realized that I had seen those scribbled notes which you sought to hide. How many women in the last five years? Ten, twenty or forty? Answer me you grumpy old dog.”

    Looking at the city down below, I felt mesmerized at the breath taking beauty it had to offer. It looked so different than the daytime I was used to. Hearing a loud groan and the a curse, I shook the leg and said “Hey Mike. Look at the city. I bet you haven’t seen anything like it.” A piercing scream was heard as he started to fall. Looking down a final time, I threw my jacket, hat, boots over the guard rail and put on new clothes just as the elevator door opened to release the last set of visitors.

    The paramedics soon arrive and declare that man died awhile back due to fall from a great height. As the paramedics wheel away the body into the ambulance, the detective who handled these cases walked up to see if anyone could shed some light on who this person was and what happened here. As he walked past a lady who was standing at the very edge, he wondered out loud how people could be so dumb as to climb the guardrail and stand at the very edge. Time flew by as the sun slowly rose higher and higher over the horizon. The detective starts to flip through his notes and decides to call up the next of kin to let them know what happened and claim the body. As the cars tail lights disappear around the bend, the woman hails a cab and heads off to the train station.

    I grimaced as I felt a searing pain and let go of the red charcoal which the cigarette butt had become. Looking down at the burning cinder and then around the place which was used to send the deceitful person whom I called my husband into a pits of Hades itself, I walked off towards my pickup. As I stepped into the cab, I started to turn the ignition key yet hesitated for a minute as a sharp crackle, pop, smell of wood washed over me and a small smile cold as winter itself appeared on my face. “That’s one hellava bonfire to light up the sky. I wish I had brought marshmallows, hotdogs and a few drinks” I mumbled as I swung the truck back into the main road and towards the town where I was staying at the moment. Reaching towards the radio, I cranked it up as a Willie Nelson song started playing whistling out its tune from memory as I whizzed by one semi and another.