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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Those bygone days 2

    It was just another wasted day as I pulled my nets back in once more. For the last many days, I had not caught anything and the river seemed dead. Tilting the hat back and wiping the sweat off my brow, I looked into the hills and saw a storm approaching. Time flew by faster than the swiftest winds as I got busy pulling in the nets, the fishing gear and tying it down in the boat before heading off to the shore. It seems like it was morning till a few hours ago, yet the sun was setting already. The bright ball of fire had turned reddish orange and the shadows were getting longer with each passing minute.

    It had taken many long months to turn the parcel of land which I now called my own into what looked like a home, yet it was not complete. I still lived in the abandoned mansion on a small hill top which I called a home for now as it was the only livable thing in these parts. Looking over my shoulder as I walked over to the house, the river looked so cool, refreshing and it seemed to call me out. I wanted to walk barefoot on the green grass and slip into the river to drive away the coiled up stress. The river had a free and untamed look to it and it always seemed to hold me under a spell whenever I ventured near.

    Looking at the darkening sky, I resisted its call as I felt the wind pick up, lightning flashed in the sky and one could hear loud booming thunder in the distance. As I was running across the land and up the hill, the wind died down suddenly and there was a growing darkness that did not seem like a good omen. There was utter silence all around and I heard a herd of horses neighing as they galloped further into the valley and into the mountains seeking safety amongst the ravines.

    The sudden downpour soaked me to the bone and the dirt road leading up to the road turned muddy. It was no use sinking deeper into it while despairing about the mess I was in. All the power lines leading to the town were knocked out and none of the houses down in the valley showed any sign of activity. Not a soul was in sight and even the stray dogs were nowhere to be seen. The rain died down as quickly as it had started, yet it seemed like there was another storm was brewing just over the horizon. You could feel it building up and in the bones which seemed worse than this one.

    Upon reaching the door, the handle jammed and I kept hammering it till it creaked open. Entering the room, I lit the lantern, shed my wet clothes as quickly as possible and hung them by the fireplace. The fire had died down long ago yet the ambers still smoldered brightly under the ashes. Throwing a hand full of twigs and some straw, I stirred the ambers and kept fanning till the twigs and straw caught fire. Bit by bit, I kept adding the logs till it was a roaring fire and I wandered around to find a clean dry set of clothes.

    A change of clothes made me feel better. I wandered off to the kitchen to hunt up some food. The cupboard was overflowing yet the only item that I wanted was something which could be made as quickly as possible. I eventually discovered a long lost packet of soup which was quickly opened and poured into boiling water. Just as I was sitting down, I heard a knock on the door. As I opened the door, I saw a semi parked down the street and a tall, stocky bearded man staring intently at me. As he started to speak, a flood gate opened in my mind. The past which seemed to have been locked up and forgotten seemed alive and I started to drown in its memory. I felt like a drowning man who thrown in rapidly flowing flood waters, yet it was the past memories I was drowning in and not water.

    Looking past him, I saw that he had come alone. All I could see was a dense forest cover across the street and the street was empty except for him and his truck. After a moment of silence, I asked “What brings you to these parts my friend?” as a steaming hot mug of soup was handed over. I told Bill that I was pleasantly surprised to see him as I had not seen anyone of my friends for many long years as I headed over to the kitchen to grab a mug for myself. We pulled up our chairs near the window and I looked out at the torrential downpour which had started once more. The street had turned into a small river and I couldn’t see the houses across the street. With the passage of time, I had all but forgotten my previous life until this evening.

    I had come here to forget my past and I had never expected anyone I knew to wander down this long forgotten road which had drawn me like a street light draws a moth many long years back. Time had moved on as I lost myself in one nameless town after another until I finally found some peace here. It seemed like everyone had forgotten about me as we grew up and went our own ways, made new friends along the way.

    The room was dimly lit as the only light the room got was from the fireplace at one end and the lantern hanging on the wooden pillar near the door. The fireplace light flickered and threw shadows all over throwing my mind in more turmoil than it was already. The tick tock of the clock was the only sound heard for awhile as both of us were lost in our own thoughts. Coffee was offered and gladly taken as we exchanged stories of our travels around the country once more. Curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask how I was located even though I tried my best not to leave any trace behind. I was told how I was asked about in every bar, highway stops and any other places that served travelers. He met a dead end at every place until a few people mentioned that they had seen me around these parts. Like a blood hound, he finally tracked me down to this place and it unlocked those memories that I thought I would never experience again.

    Bill told tall tales about his travels around the country just like old times and I told him of mine of this enchanting place which seemed like paradise on earth. In what seemed like another lifetime, I remembered that I had always loved going on long hauls for the company and had been doing it for many long years whenever the opportunity presented itself. It had become a routine habit which I had never skipped no matter how bad the weather. The road was like my second home which I never got tired off and it always called me back when I was not on the road.

    The grandfather clock down in the hallway boomed as the hand struck eight. It startled me out of the deep thought I was in and I only realized this by the fact that the logs in the small fire place had burned down to cinders and cold was creeping back into the room. Looking out the window, I saw that the rains had ended long back. Through the partly cloudy sky, a full moon seemed to look down at the land as if looking for something. The star lit night made me wonder what my future holds.

    “You still awake?” I asked. Shaking his head he replied in the positive. I walked around the house to close the windows and check the doors to see if the house was all locked up for the night. This house had been my shelter in more ways than one. It was getting late and I wandered back to ask what he wants to eat as I was heading off to see what I can put together. As I neared Bill, I was wondering what he had caught and roasting on the fire yet my stomach started to grumble and I asked him how soon the food will be ready. We ate the food in total silence for awhile.

    “You know about it right?” I asked Bill. “Ayup. You know how small the town is. How could I miss it as it was the talk of the town. The phones were buzzing for many days. It’s shame ain’t it? ” He said after some thought. There was something on his mind. “What are ya going to do about it?” He asked. “Nothing. I reckon she’s already been dumped as a two timing women that she is.” Came back the reply in a whispered tone. There was turmoil in my mind as I looked over my shoulder and into the growing darkness thinking about the times I tried to lose myself in nameless towns and forget my past. I still feel hollow inside as the emptiness has never got filled. I guess I’ll never trust nor love again.

    .

    We went silent for awhile with each one of us lost in our own thoughts. The roaring log fire had died down to a small fire once more. A few more branches and a log were thrown in to keep it going. The talk shifted to other things. There was something on his mind but he held it back. I let things be as my mind floated back to a bygone era which I seemed to have forgotten till now. I saw myself in my mind’s eye travelling down one interstate highway after another and one dead after another delivering the goods.

    My sun burned gaunt face turned towards the window as the harsh winds that refused to die down swept through the mind. The creaking and swinging branches outside the window startled me out of the dark thoughts I had fallen into. There was silence before I broke down for what seemed to be an eternity. I had lost my anchor in life long time back and I still felt like I was cast adrift on a stormy ocean with no land in sight. A firm hand on my shoulder brought me back. He told me that I had to be a man. The past is gone and can’t be undone. One must learn to let go and the inner wounds shall heal. Life always comes a full circle at the end I was told.

    The power had come back as the house lights flickered on. The street lights down below in the valley showed empty streets and the town seemed deserted except for the stray dogs that were busy chasing a few cars that passed through the town main intersection. The sounds of long haul trucks were heard humming by below and the sound of a blaring truck horn as it went flying past like a tornado woke me out of the half sleep daze I was in. The moon was rising higher and higher and sleep was overtaking me. Throwing a blanket over Bill who had fallen asleep in the chair, I somehow managed to make it to my room and I fell asleep as soon as I hit the sack.

    It had been a long night and it felt good to be awake. Looking out, I see that it is going to be another cloudy day. As I got out of the bed I ran my hand across my face and thought of getting a shave and a bath before heading down to a hearty breakfast for both of us. I needed some food to fill my empty stomach but that will have to wait a bit. Hearing my footsteps on the creaky wooden floor, Bill hollered up the stairs about getting my butt down by the table or else I ain’t getting anything.

    As the day progressed further, I noticed that the sky cleared up a bit. In this lonely stretch of land, in some areas nothing could be seen for miles upon miles except for an endless stretch of trees. The town activity was in full swing and I could hear the sounds of people in the street as they went about their daily activities. The sun still seemed to glare at the land through the clouds and at other times through the tops of houses as it made its journey through the sky. Sometimes on those dark and lonely nights, I felt like a leaf caught in the gently flowing river called time which gets swept along vainly struggling to find it own path as it gets swept along at ever increasing rate until all control is lost.

    After spending a week or so, Bill told me that he had to go since he had realized during the stay at my place that he had to wrap up some unfinished business. I asked him several time what he meant, yet he kept mum. One fine day, he took his leave and I was saddened by his departure. Life slowly yet surely resumed it normal course as I went to the river to see what bounty the nets would bring in and heading down to the town to sell my wares and buy provisions. Life seemed a little emptier, yet it was expected and I got used to the solitary life once more.

    As I stepped out of the house and into the black top road, I saw a sight which not only startled me but took my breath away. It seemed like a ghost from my past had returned to haunt me once more. Bill was driving my truck leisurely up the hill. I had abandoned it in a rundown condition in company warehouse thinking that I’ll never need it and yet at the same time not wanting to sell it off either. As the truck pulled up, I heard it purring and humming just like a brand new machine. “I’ve fixed it up for you and here are the keys” was all he said as he went inside to grab some coffee.

    My breath quickened and heart started to beat faster as I realized that deep inside I really wanted to be behind the steering wheel of a semi once more. My body was tired yet my mind wanted to go on the road and reclaim my past. A few days later, I checked my bags once more before I zipped them a final time and asked Bill to put them in the semi-trailer with the rest of the stuff. One by one, things were packed away and. the house became emptier. What was once a home turned into a house once more. It took some time to double check the empty shell of a house to make sure that everything was shut off, windows closed, utility companies informed and the post office told to route the mail to my old house.

    Locking the door for the final time seemed the hardest thing to do yet it felt like an old chapter had been closed and a new one about to begin. It was tiring and stressful, yet I felt relieved leaving this old house and its surroundings had just too many memories. We finally left for the new destination and our truck being a commercial vehicle took the main roads. A new life and new adventure awaited me.

    After what seems an eternity, the morning sun gently peeks through the tops of the houses as I drive down the tree lined path looking for my house. It’s been many long months since I have been this way, yet it seems like I never left it. So much has remained the same yet a lot has changed. Stopping the truck in front of my house, I get out to see my two kids wrestling each other to see who’s the king of the hill. As a breeze gently rustles the trees leaves and ruffles through my hair ever so softly, I hear children voices heading my way and as they round they turn, they run off towards the park as they chase each other through the shrubs and weave through the trees. The voices fade away and I wonder how so much time has flown by so quickly. Drawn by the voices, the kids notice me and one of them run off inside to tell momma while the other one tries to tackle me. Falling to the ground, we roll off some distance and the little kid tells me with a huge smile that he’s won. Letting the kid climb on top, he sits on my shoulder as we walk towards the house which is finally a home to see what my little lady is up to.

    Time flew by and days turned into weeks. One day, the dispatcher called to tell me that I’m off on another long haul. The heart grew heavy, yet I knew that I had to go. My girl didn’t want me to go, yet she knew that it brought in the much needed doe. Promising to be back soon, I started up the rig and headed around the bend.

    After travelling what seemed many long hours, my weary legs seemed to give out yet I drove on as the distant town lights grew brighter with each passing mile. The wind ruffled my hair and I pressed the horn to let out a long blaring sound as I passed by dozens of cars. The early morning sun sped its way through the horizon as I followed its path through one town after another. The tank was near empty when I pulled into what seemed like another deserted gas station. Waiting for the tanks to fill up, I looked around and wonder how much things have changed since the last time I came this way.

    Pulling out of the joint, the truck ate up the miles as quickly as the swift winds above as I tried to make up lost time. I was already way behind and the truck depot was pestering me to make up lost time. The radio blared out same old songs as the radio jockey moaned and groaned about the Mexican food he ate the night before. Looking over to the side, I saw long haul trucks humming along the highway and blaring their horns as they passed me by. Time flew by as day turned into night and once more in day. The road was my second home and I felt alive behind the wheel as I searched for new adventures everyday.

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